Hmmm please you will help me to check-in a bag on our way back. Why? You see, that my friend we saw yesterday has excess luggage so, she brought a bag for me to help her take. So, ‘tis me you are certain will not have much luggage? So? I am going to have 3bags and my hand luggage and they only allow 2bags. Who told you? If you don’t exceed the maximum per person it does not matter how many bags you have. Well, that is what she told me, that they only allow 2bags and a hand luggage per person. Hmmm, that is pretty weird to me sha oh, but, let us even get to the airport first. This guy, ‘tis me you want to be liable for possible trouble abi? Don’t worry a fool-proof way I will find not to be responsible for carrying your presumed excess luggage. Me, carry somebody else’s bag? No way.

 

Put your bag on the trolley now. ‘tis not necessary, I will just wheel it along. No oh, how can I allow my oga to be carrying load? Smart one, we will end up checking in together. Just pray the combine luggage do not exceed….

Excuse me, please can you guys help us check in these bags, since you only have hand luggage? We have checked in. It does not matter; you can still check them in for us. Sorry, we cannot help you. Kai, is it my afro (oops, I just unveiled my identity) abi, do I look like a mugu? No problem, if you guys cannot help us. Tough luck. Why are you explaining to them that we have checked in? Oh, because you are helping your friend to carry her excess luggage abi? Now let me tell you something, you don’t ever collect any luggage from anybody at the airport. ‘tis that simple. You see if your friend had asked me to help her bring her excess luggage back, I would have told her no. Why? What does she have in her excess luggage? Goods she wants to go and sell with possibilities of making profits in excess of 500%. I have no problem with the profit she is going to make, that is why she is a businesswoman anyway. However, I have every problem with her not wanting to pay for services rendered her. But, more importantly, you don’t courier people’s (more especially strangers) luggage, that is the easiest way to be a very important guest of NDLEA.

 

When we (individually) decide to be RESPONSIBLE for our ACTS (& actions) then, we will realize that such thing as ‘the Government is bad’ does not exist.

 

What are you still doing indoors, you mean you went all the way to Dubai to browse? Hmmm, didn’t realise I supposed to be walking up and down the streets 24/7? But,….. But me no but my friend, have fun.

What are you doing in blogsville? …….thot, you were in Dubai. Ehen, so during leave one should shut down even the virtual world? Noted, my dear friend.

Hey, so how was your trip? You see first thing I noticed was that they have two ‘weather’ conditions. Outside is hot (not necessarily sunny but, the air is hot) and inside (at least all the buildings I entered) is cool (as in air-conditioned). But, I did not find what I was looking for. Pray tell, what were you looking for? People with two heads on their shoulders. You are simply mischievous. I am serious oh. You see, Dubai can easily pass for one of the fastest developing Cities in the world. This you can attribute to the vision of one man (their ruler –the Sheik), who wants to make sure that by the time their (crude) oil finishes (the myth is that their oil is going to dry-up after a definite period of time); they (the country) are self-sustaining. But, more importantly, what fascinated me the most was that the people ACCEPTED and were COMMITTED to the works (be it blue or white-collared) they do.

 

‘twas an experience that confirms that nothing is totally impossible , once the WILL is there.

 

Solomonsydelle, thus goes my Nigerian Revolution Meme. Thank you for inviting me to share my ideas on how Nigerians can create change.

Wait, wait, on a Monday morning you stroll into the office late, wearing jeans (a Friday wear for you), a pair of sandals (you don’t even wear on Fridays) and flying your shirt which you never do. I don’t get it. Oh, in case you don’t know, ‘m on leave. Ehen, so, what brings you to the office? I came to write my handover note. That is quite unbelievable; you could have done that on Friday now. Afterall, you took you time to actually clear your table. I know, only I have a perfect excuse not to. Management gave me an impromptu work, that Friday. Whatever…..

 

Hey, ‘ssup? I dey oh. Have you finished your report? At all, I have been quite busy and ‘NEPA’ is not making things any easier. You nko? I am almost through. How is work though? I am resuming in my new office on Monday. That is good, when are we washing it? As for me, I am on leave. Ehen, I envy you oh. How long? Three weeks. At a once? Yes now. No oh, bit by bit ni. Se you know me I have always said that your former office is a factory? My office is not like yours that they give you your leave one week at a time.

 

When are you starting your leave? …..but, ‘tis just 3weeks, wish ‘twas 4weeks like yours. See your mouth like 4weeks, sebi in December when you guys take another 3-4weeks (in the name of Construction Break) we we go to work. Ehen, but……….. You better but no but and be quite.

 

Uncle …thots kai, ‘tis Monday. I have not performed my ‘uncly’ duties since last Wednesday. Not to worry I will come tell my niece Happy Birthday specially, how are you? I am fine oh, you nko? Well, quite unusual we have not seen you in a while. Was actually at your place yesterday but, you people were not in. Anyway,………how you been sha? Cool, started my leave today. Haha, so what are you doing? …should go to Dubai. I envy you oh. ‘tis my office that is sponsoring it oh. I love that your office.

 

This man, your office is sponsoring your leave and you are refused to collect car loan from them? Ha, look at you…………….don’t you know there is a big difference between selling me loan and sponsoring my leave?

 

I go forth…….

She met him in sometime ago. They were both members of the same group. It was her first time of being part of any group and she wanted to make up for lost ground. So for her it was an opportunity to meet people, exchange visits, bio data etcetera etcetera. Most members were very welcoming too. He was however, not like most. It was like he had a sign that read “Talk to me only when I talk to you”. So she only talked to him at his own pace. This notwithstanding, they still had occassions to talk.

“Do you have a camera I can borrow?” I need one for my trip to Abuja“

“Thanks for your camera, here’s what I brought for you from Abuja“

He even gave her a gift on her birthday. Most people don’t remember her birthday. Not on that day at least. Two days before, two weeks after or any day in March but then, he is not like most people. By the time she was leaving school, she thought we were friends. They exchanged e- mail addresses & phone numbers. She however did not hear from him until a couple years later.

 

They met online by chance and he started calling her. They spent an average of one hour every week on the phone courtesy of telecoms benefits. They talked about everything: School, Family, Politics, Career Plans, Religion, everything. Then he invited her to come to come see one of the projects he was working on. She agreed. While there, she asked a question that changed their erstwhile platonic relationship.

“What do you want from me?”

“I want us to be friends”, he replied.

Friends? She couldn’t believe her ears. What have we been all this while ntori olorun? So, she asked the question over and over again that same day, but the answer was the same!

Have you ever lifted a box that you thot was full of heavy stones only to find it was empty? That was how she felt. She felt like she was in a play and somebody had changed her co-actors’ scripts without informing her. She felt like she had asked for a hot bath on a cold harmattan morning but gotten a bucket of ice cold water instead.

 

How could she have been so self delusional? The most disconcerting part was that she couldn’t even blame him for the state she was in. Needless to say after that, she sat down and critically assessed the situation. So he’d called every weekend for months .It was telecoms benefits and he was just having fun! But their calls were usually long and they talked about everything. So? Did he ever say anything about liking her? Did he say anything she could even remotely misconstrue as romantic? No. Any Gifts? No. Any promises? No. On Val’s Day? No. On her birthday? No. The result was very clear: She was seeing things.

 

What to do next? Keep her cool, at least now boundaries had been set and clearly defined. It was a bitter pill to swallow but she did it. Imagine her consternation when the very next day after she had achieved this feat, he calls to say he wanted to be more than friends. For her, it was a little too late, so she just took off, to Ghana. She just wanted to go back to the way they were before the outing. When she got back from Ghana however it was impossible to keep to her resolution. What can she say? Attention begets affection.

Hey ’ssup? How far? Se you know you’re a debitor? Ehen, why? Well, they said you have to pay for your annual dues (’07) for Associates. If not they won’t collect your exam forms. Ok, how much? Please help me to pay now. You think i pluck money from trees? Abeg jo, sebi you are my friend? You this guy……..how do you do it? Do what? Ha, don’t worry, i’ll help pay it but, ’twill have to be on Monday. No problem, Thanks.

 

How was your weekend? Have you submitted my forms now? Though, the lady collected it, she said the person that signed on the copies of your certificates is no more a member of Council. So, you to make new copies and get a member of Council to sign then send them so she can swap the copies. Ok, thanks.

 

’ssup? Se you know the man that signed copies of our certificates is no more a council member. What? and he went ahead to sign them. That’s not the issue now, let’s go to the liaison office and get the council member that is there to sign. What if he is not there today? At least they will give us details of another council member. Ok then, let’s go. Hey, sorry guys, he is not in town but, you can get in touch with this lady. Thank you. So, how do we do it? Let’s call the lady? Oya take my phone and call her. You you don’t want to talk to her. Whatever…… She says we should come to her office by 5.00pm today but,….. But, what? Me, i can’t leave the office early oh, se you know i came in pretty late today. Oh, that is your trademark, don’t worry, i’ll take the forms there.

 

Hello ma’am, you said we should meet you in your office by 5.00pm. Oh, where are you? ‘m in your office. Eyaa…….’m still on the way, you know how traffic can be? I wish i did. Will you wait or better still just drop the stuffs with anybody in the office and come back tomorrow morning to collect them. Haba, don’t you know i go to work? Ok, ma’am, thank you and have a nice evening. You too.

 

Please i need you to go to this office to collect some forms i dropped there yesterday. Ok. When you collect it, put the (signed & sealed) copies of my certificates in an envelope and drop it with the courier service. Call me when you drop it, so, i can call my friend to go pick it up.

 

Hello, ‘m in the lady’s office oh. She didn’t sign the copies of your certificates but, she did your colleagues. She said something about your forms not been there……. Ok, don’t worry, i’ll call her.

 

Good Aftern’n ma’am, i dropped my (& my colleague’s) stuff in your office yesterday evening. Heard you didn’t sign mine. Yes oh, your forms were not there and i don’t want them to seize (or was it suspend) my license because i am trying to help somebody oh. WHAT??? ‘cos you’re trying to help who? As a council member, thot ’twas your job to sight & sign copies of candidates certificates. Abi, what is this woman saying. Hmmm, excuse me ma’am, i have actually submitted my forms, they only told me when i got there that Lagbaja that signed copies of my certificate (after sighting the originals) is no longer a member of council. Ehen, but, Lagbaja is a member of council now. Well, that is not what i was told. But, you didn’t explain all these now………. Haba, you don’t need my forms to sight the original copies of my certificates and sign of the copies of same, comfirming you saw the originals. Anyway, no problem……‘ll sort myself out.

 

…just a thot, why do people always believe (or give the impression) that they are doing you a favour when, they are only doing their job?

 

 

 

 

 

…they loved each other but at different times, and never got to love each other in time.

 

 

By chance they met while they were in school, by sheer chance they met again about 4years after they had left school. An acquaintance formed back then in school eventually developed to friendship. Consistent communication seemed to have been the hallmark of their friendship, this eventually must have led to some form of attraction till…… the question “What do you want from me?” was asked. We are friends, ain’t we? A response was not found wanting. A deep reflection and eventually, a relationship they began. She loved him then….

 

 

On and on the relationship seemingly matured, their faults and short-comings they tolerated. They put in their ‘best’…… But, somewhere along the line, he knew he didn’t treat her fairly. How much he tried, ‘tis not known but, one thing he was certain; he didn’t want her to later feel he wasted her time. So, he did what he thot was ‘noble’; that they should give the relationship a break. Only now with hindsight, he realizes; ‘one learns to love and consciously builds on it’.

 

 

They still kept in touch; after all, something friendship existed between them before the relationship was birthed. She asked him if she could move on. Yes, he ‘nobly’ replied. By chance oops, chance seems to have played a major role in all these they were physically separated. In the distance, what happened? He finally appreciated her essence, now he fell in love. Only, ‘twas too late……she had moved on, she informed him.

 

 

Beyond the call of duty, he went hoping to rekindle what once resided deep in her heart but, an effort in futility it was. Did he not understand that she loved him not for what he consciously did but, for his unconscious person? He didn’t believe she had moved on. But then, the more he tried consciously the further away he pushed her…..till it almost became like harassment. ‘Twas a most difficult period but, his friends helped him to cushion the effect. He learnt to move on when he realized that she budged not about her stance on having moved on also, that she felt nothing again; however, she assured him he was a great guy and she’d love them to still be friends. He loved her now…..

 

 

A timeless lesson he learnt though…….

 

Why Laspapi thinks I have a reservoir of quirks, I know not. I sure have been tagged before http://rethots.wordpress.com/2007/12/05/yeah-7-weird-things-about-rethots/  and it wasn’t easy wasn’t easy getting 6 weird things then. But, be that as it may, I’ll indulge him.

Guess, you know who tagged me; only, I’ll write the rules so small you won’t be able to read them and accuse me of not following the rules to the latter.

 

The rules:1. Link the person who tagged you -
2. Mention the rules in your blog –
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours –
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them -
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

 

 

 

 

Here……

 

1.     Except in dire need of it, I try not to ask. My friends and siblings always seem to differ to me. I sometimes wonder how a ‘no’ would be from some people.

2.     The language I speak with you (our first time meeting) is what I always speak with you thereafter. Very few people I mix languages with.

3.     I am quiet & pretty shy so, I don’t usually go out of my way to meet (or talk to) people but, if we happen to be engaged (in conversation) you’d be certain I’m an extrovert.

4.     I don’t chat up with you by default ‘cos we are relatives of some sort; there has to be a connection (or spark). So, I simply exchange pleasantries.

5.     I don’t drive. Ok! i don’t drive on the highway; So, when I got my car, my younger brother had the responsibility of cruising it about town. I think I love public transports, at least I can sit and allow my thots to wander…….

6.     I guess I’ve tried. Ok, this should fit. I can drink coffee round the clock even when I’m about to go to bed. Ouch! a colleague told me yesterday to kill that habit……hope I remember.  

’ssup? Your happiness seems to have infected everybody in the office today. You want to share it. Well, what do you think? Oh, is it ‘cos there’s now a new airline that plies your Ilorin route now? Nopes, ‘m glad for that though. At least, won’t have to endure the 8-hour road journey anymore, by God’s grace. It used to be tiring. That you eventually sorted out your passport? Nope, pleased with that. So, what? Sebi, you’re the one that wants to know…..so, keep guessing. Oh, you finally got the letter. Funny enough, no, but, should get it today. Short of which, i don’t understand for my yahoo email again oh. What’s wrong with it? ’tis not opening again. Ha, you expecting other mails? My work is more or less virtual these days. So, what’ll you do? Well, to my friend i have text him another email to help send the letter. For the official mails…..nothing i can do (except they also copy my office email), i’ll just wait it out. Imagine, ‘m using my blogging email. 

 

Then what exactly is your source of happiness (that is so infecting) today? Oh, i now get it, she’ll finally agreed? You make it sound as if she disagreed before. I thot….. Think whatever you want. Ok, ok, let me help you out. ’m in love. What??? I said ‘m in love. With who? When did this happen? So fast? Igbawo si gbawo? Haba, chill now…….does it look as if i can multi-task answers for you? Anyway, what do you mean by who? Whoelse would i be in love with? So, what’s new about that? ‘thas been common knowledge for a while now. Only that now things are much different. Ehen, how. I derive joy from expressing my love to her whom i love. You never cease to amaze me. How do you do that? Not to be shared (allow me to be selfish just this once). Tell me now. No way, infact…..it may not even work for you. Why you say that? ‘cos she (whom i love) thot me how. You are getting me jealous. But, ’tis true….she thot me not only how to love but also how to express it. Now, i’m finally jealous. You look so so happy. Yes oh, you know….there is this feeling of bliss you experience when you are in love and can actually express it. I can’t explain it but, when you get there you’ll understand. You look so very much content. Yes, only there’s always a lil……. What’s that? In as much as ‘m expressing my love (& loving it) to her…..i have not seen her in almost a week. What, kilode? She wants space (not to push things), ’tis killing, really wish could see her now. But, be that as it may……i still express my love to her, and i am happy with that. Don’t worry, all will be well. If only you understand how your happiness has infected everyone in the office today……

Hey ’ssup? Fine, you?

I dey. Come; have noticed that in the last one week you’ve been much calmer watsup?

Nothing oh, just realised that life’s not a stress. That’s not even what i meant to ask. Ehen.

Yeah, i was watching you from the window this morning and i noticed it took you over 25mins to cross the road. What happened? Ha, you don’t understand. What? Do you know there’s but a thin line between life and death? What’s that to do with anything? I have seen that line before. Oya, speak in plain language. Two fridays ago, a bike hit me on top speed on this same road. Ehen! What??? ’tis a lie, i always admire the way you glided across this road and wished i could do same, how can a bike hit you? I thot i saw you that day. Yeah, you did. But, you didn’t say anything…..you didn’t even look hurt. No, i wasn’t hurt, except a bruise on my hip. But, i’ll tell you the great lessons i learnt from that incident (which, i think was of much more importance). What?

That i should never take things for granted and to be appreciative…. Also, that there is no perfect time but now. That’s a mouth-ful, chill, what do you mean that there’s no perfect time but now? I realised, if it had happened any other way, i might not have been able to tell her whom i love, that i did. How? I was busy looking for the perfect time. So, have you found the perfect time? I stopped looking for it; i told her, only i wished i saw her and did while looking into her eyes.

But, more importantly, i’m grateful He gave me another chance to Life, and now i seek also another chance in love.

Hey, have you seen the accountant? Nope (had formulated a system where i see her not, infact she helps deposit my cheques in my account). Go and see her. Ok. What do you want? Well, heard you guys (management) are planning a coup. Oya, come see your payslip. What happened? I won’t collect this. Ehen, ’tis people like you i’ve been waiting for to go and fight. I hear you. Onigbese, me, fight? Lailai. Gone were those days in school, we fought our battles and won the most important ones. Fight management? No way, this woman understand not that, ’tis just ’salary’ even if they doubled it, ’tis still salary. Hence, you’ll always desire more.

Have you seen her? Yeah, told her i won’t collect it. Ha, don’t do that oh, ’twill look like an affront on management. That’s a point sha. Ok, then. Hey, guess who called me. Who? Senior Associate, he wants us senior guys to fight for our ‘right’. Told him, no, that since i’ve expressed my opinion to him, i have informed management.

Any other issue? Yeah, we noticed some deductions in our salaries…. Well, we ought to have been deducting taxes et al. Blah, blah, blah…… the accountant gave us the impression she informed you guys of the deductions. Nice one, someone has to take the fall. Well, she didn’t. Hmm, we’ll look into it. Blah, blah, blah…..ok, we’ll revise the deductions so that after deductions, your take home’s still same.

Rethots, management’s calling you. Yeah. As per what happened, apparently, the accountant did not let us know the true situation of things. She gave us the impression that she had informed everyone. Naturally, someone has to take the fall. But, how come you didn’t say anything? See this man oh, what he want me to say, ”that i want not to pay tax?” Well, there was nothing to say, every other person had said it all. I need not waste my breathe. Anyway, the only problem i had was, your (management) not informing us before the deductions but, you already answered that oops, accusing the accountant. At least, she couldn’t have made deductions without management’s approval you had the impression the accountant had informed us.

Well, as you like it, as long as you thread not on my feet.

At the bus stop someday on his way to work (apparently, he wasn’t in a hurry), he stood and was watching out for a bus to board (not as if there weren’t any). Many there actually were but, he said to himself, he wasn’t in a hurry. So, when there was a crowd he eased back and when there was no crowd, he decided he didn’t want just any bus or one that will mistakenly tear his pants. So, he stood back and was accessing buses as they passed. When the okay ones passed, he didn’t feel game so, he did not enter. However, when there was no crowd, the buses (no matter the category they were) always stopped to beckon, but he just did as if he didn’t know they were stopping for him. This continued for a considerable while and when he decided he was ready to go; guess what he did? He simply moved forward and took a bike.

Someone asked him why he did that? He responded that the choice was his to make. It then dawned on him that

…THE RUBICON HAD BEEN ROSSED.

WHY? There are so many (beautiful, intelligent) around; some have even said yes, he only needed to pop the question. Fine, some have said no (ouch!). Ok, so, what exactly is the problem? Nothing, he replied, just that he hasn’t seen her (sure thee?) who’ll arrest (oops!) his attention “… she’s gracious, she’s classy, and she’s adorable …unconventional, uncommon, she’s different …matches him word for word, thot for thot …liberal but more importantly she’s there. She doesn’t demand it as a right yet, appreciates and doesn’t refuse it when given. Oh yes, she’s sophisticated. When you see her, you will pause, then, you’ll say; “I always suspected.” You’ll doff your hat, but, more importantly you won’t forget meeting her…