Posted by: rethots | February 19, 2010

…nine months.

“really,there was a grin on my face…………………..i really need to know u,u are just sooo DIFFERENT!!!!!

happy new yearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,no coded posts this year oooh………ehen”

Hey two dees, zion said you should pick me for his sister’s wedding on Saturday. Ehen, i don’t know anything about that oh. Whatever, have told you sha. Let’s see. Hey, ‘ssup? How do we hook up? I drive to Church and you pick me up. Am sure you ain’t ready. Don’t worry, am already on my way. 

…seems like they are through with the Church Service. Apparently, so where are they? Ha, see, think they are the ones taking pictures there. Yeah. You seen zion? No, yeah, look at him over there. Hey guys, thanks for coming. Where is db? He is on his way, apparently, he has some errands to run. So, where is the reception? You guys should follow my brother.

Guys, make yourself comfortable, ’tis going to be a buffet. Why you looking like that? How? Comm’n, i know you now, spill it. Okay, why is it the during marriage ceremonies, the seeming constant prayer is always “…we will come for naming ceremony in nine months…”? Ha, you read my unspoken thots. You know, me have told my babe, nothing in the first two years. Infact, we are going to intimate all the officiating persons not to make any reference to coming back in nine months. Better still, we will just engrave it with a loud voice on our invitation cards.

You know, my opinion of marriage is about companionship. The children are really complements to the union. Moreover, they are only with the two of you for a couple of years after which, they move on to become their own persons. Ultimately, the cycle revolves back to just you and your spouse.  Same here, unfortunately, we have made children the core essence of marriage.

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Responses

  1. True. It irks me that “prayer” for the couple. Children are an added extra to the marriage, not the sole purpose of it.

  2. There are lots of people [me, not included] that will seriously disagree with you, Favored Girl. Tons of people think that while companionship is great the reason for marriage is procreation.

    As irksome as the prayer might be, it is a valid one…ask the couple that have been trying to no avail to have kids.

  3. Children should never be the core of any marriage. It spoils the vision.

  4. i am with you
    this is sooo annoying for real

    okay RepressedOne i don’t think that is why God created marriage

    when in Gen 2. he created man he realized it wasn’t complete so he said he needs a helper, a mate to assist him and He is created even.

    now if you believe in evolution then yeah i guess marriage is just legalized procreation

  5. The first reason for marriage should definitely be companionship; friendship, to love and be loved in return…but, other reasons exist when seen through various eyes. I think it’s a prayer of blessing upon the couple for kiddies, whenever they decide/when the time is right. Not compulsorily after nine months. 🙂

  6. Arrrrrrrrrgh! I really don’t get why some women make babies their primary reson for getting married. I believe the couple needs time to bond, grow and learn to live with each other as a “couple”. Create that solid foundation before the kid/kids show up. Anyways that’s just me. Life isn’t really the same when the munchkins come around.

  7. I totally agree with you. Kids are great and all but people should totally shut up about the ‘9 months’ thingy. Its the couple’s decision if and when to have kids. I have an uncle who got married and after a couple of years without kids people were stopping him on the streets to tell him they were praying for him and his wife. The funny thing was he and his wife had no problem, they just chose to wait before having kids!

  8. Even though I am getting ‘advanced’ in years, it is still my hope to enjoy a happy married life, without children, for at least a little while before I and my husband are blessed with children.

    There is a lot of pressure placed on a couple to have children as soon as possible, and couples have to start responding to people who make such comments by saying that these things are their business alone and when children enter the picture they will know. This pestering that couples who have been married for some time and who do not have children receive is too much!

  9. if i had a blog i would have so many issues marriage-related to rant about..this included.A wedding i attended recently even the MC said “hopefully in 3 months time we should be gathering for..”must you prove to the world you’re fertile?especially when you’re not financially ready for kids or you just want to keep enjoying the lovebird stage?anyway what do i know…i ain’t married;-)

  10. true talk. ppl think kids solidify marriage unions. If a marriage sucks kids make it worse and if a marriage is good kids make it better.

    its abt the two married ppl.

  11. i quite agree with you.

  12. Rethots,you are not serious oh.hmmmm,so what were your 1st 2line about(smiles)

    Anyway,this post was quite clear or maybe am now used to ur flow…..my mum still bugged me over d weekend on why we arent trying for baby yet,my husband says i have not fully settled into my role as working wife…….i might “never” be fully ready left to me,when it comes,it comes but for now,i shiver at the thought of it……..my friend told me to imagine pain coming from hell during labour…….sigh*

  13. I agree couples shouldn’t be pressured into making babies and should be allowed to ‘do it’ at their own pace.

    However, I strongly believe that there’s an understanding that comes with having those sweet little ones. If there’s one moment I look forward to, it’s the day I will hold my child in my arms and stare at those innocent eyes while singing her a lullaby. Awwwwww! Fatherhood beckons. Can’t wait! But wait, I must! Lol.

  14. Coded post ko, unhidden post ni. Man mi carry go, nutin do you.

    Children are compliments to a marriage, a gift says the good book. But our parents and then society have made it the bed rock of marriage, like you got married to have children. Na marriage is companionship. So you dont go home to nothing after a hard days work, even on holidays; marriage is for friendship, stress release, intimacy and all that mooshy mooshy. If my girl woouldnt want to hold off on children for a year after marriage, though according to rethots i am like 40, me i no go marry am o. and if she deceives me peren and gets preggers within first year, na wahala go dey o.

  15. so true…after 9 months…peeps truly expect to be invited and i always wonder why they just dont let the married couple be..

    P.S this is the first un-coded post you are writing..how have u been?

  16. This post is so so on point you don’t know. Well written too.

  17. This post is lovely, for me the essence of marraige is to continue the bond of friendship and so other offerings are complements.

    Welldone pal. more good write ups to come


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