Posted by: rethots | January 15, 2009


Congratulations. For what? Haha, the new baby now. Thank you but, alakoba ni e. How? Sebi your brother’s wife just gave birth? Ehen, now you are just talking, what if the babe i am ‘scooping’ heard you? What do you mean? You think she would have heard the concluding part sebi your brother’s wife just gave birth? Whatever, shey you know you are next? For what? Does it look as if i am married? Exactly what i am saying, ’tis your turn to marry, abi you don’t know you are next moreover, there are others after you? Haha, you better don’t sow wrong thots, if my younger brother is ready to marry i shall gladly give him my blessing. Tell me you have joined ’em looking for Ms. Perfect? Of course not, only, i have an idea of her. Describe her. Have done that before; abi, you want to go scout for her? But, you know you don’t always get ’em exactly as you dream ’em? You know, i would have agreed with you, infact, at some point i actually thot my dreams were too lofty………..

So, what changed that? You see, i was communing with a recently made friend and the more we communed, the more i felt comfortable. Till i did something i like to do. Pray tell, what do you like to do? Put pen to paper. You know, you have a knack for confusing people. Write! What do you mean? Ok, i tried to describe her. So? While i was reading comments, a particular one struck me. And…… You are never patient, haba. Anyway, i realised what i was probably one of the very last to realise. What was that? …that i just described in detail someone i had crystallised in my ‘minds i’ a long time ago. What are you getting at? If you dare to dream ‘her’ or ‘him’, believe me that person does exist. I don’t get you. Ok, listen. You don’t need to compromise on the basic things you want in ‘her’ or ‘him’. I so wish ’tis true. But, it is.



  1. ok. Congrats on your new nephew or niece…but i wonder what it is you are looking for…i am always curious as to what consitutes poeples’ basic need in a partner…me thinks its shows you what they want to become.

  2. hmmm…i disagree with you! just because u can dream her up does not mean she exists!

    But i do agree with the fact that u shld not give up basic requirements..

    So all in all, go with the flow, i am pretty sure u will meet the girl dts ryt for u!

  3. btw, congrats on d baby!

  4. Hmmmn and again I say hmmmm…as some one I know says:You can’t grow within without the outside catching up…Dare to dream!
    I sense juicy gist brewing here…so pulleeeaase spill it!!!
    Congrats on the birth of your…oops ma bad…the baby!!!

  5. True; You don’t need to compromise on the basic things you want in ‘her’ or ‘him’.

    At the same time you wont get 100% initially. As both of you grow together, the perfection comes & u get 100%.

  6. Congrats on being an uncle….

    At this rate I think I better start saving money for my gele…something tells me we will soon celebrate…

  7. Congrats on the baby.
    why is it all discussion no matter how innnocent tend towards relationships and marriage this days??

  8. Congrats on being an uncle…

    If u have dreamt of ‘her’ and there is a ‘her’ that exists in reality with these same qualities wherein lies the problem? I’m with afrobabe I am going to buy my gele

  9. lolll@afro,
    congrats egbon’
    happy w’end

  10. since everyone is greeting you congrats i will also say congrats… i actually thought u were the one giving some advice…as usual slow me…

    hmm as long as ur basic requirements are not lofty, u know more of her character and spirit then u r fine

  11. by ur last post…i actually thot u had found the one. were u trying to confuse us or something…..i still think finding perfection is a wild goose chase but in all of tht u can find close enuff to perfection…if u’re willing to compromise on the lil things in a cynical mood so i say once again…like ur friend/thots/muse partner/mr hyde side/alter-ego would say…it is ur turn. cos my bro who is 2 yrs older than me just got married…so i know its unspoken though but it is my turn…i dont have the luxury like u of looking for perfection…it is my a woman and my biological clock is ticking…yet i will try and fall in love at least with the object of my affection…if it leads to marriage so be it.

  12. Congrats on the baby!!

    I so agree with you about not compromising on the basic stuff!!

  13. Congrats.

    Like Afro, I’m waiting for the baby naming invite 😉

    You see the funny thing about dreaming up Ms Perfect is that the whole person that fits into your requirement might be living in the Island of Tonga where you may never be; your paths may never cross. But it’s good to dream. It helps the mind (like wine).

    Congrats in arrears!

  14. Although I agree that you should not compromise on the basic stuff, I don’t think our dreams of the qualities we seek in the man or woman of our dreams are ever only basic stuff.

    That being said, I still think it’s best to dream big, and imagine all that you can have, rather than put a limit on your dreams…and sometimes you get even MORE than what you dreamed of!

    If you don’t dream of something, how will you recognize it when you see it?

  15. Why do we feel is our duty to remind others of their upgraded status of being the next in line for fatherhood/motherhood? or even husbandhood/wifehood…..Naija, give peace a chance

  16. Ummm…congrats! and yes I have tried the ‘think her up’ thing and well…I’m still waiting for the results. I’ll tell you then whether it works or not.


    Wait! Is this a sign ?

  18. I WILL NOT COMPROMISE ON BASIC STUff TOO!!! congrats on being an uncle…..
    and all these talk about marriage is making a young sister feel old o

  19. Ehmm…rethots why are u doing this to me now. I have a tall list of the basics and over the years I’ve had compromise and compromise. Now am backed up in a corner where I just cant take off that list anymore but a little bird tells me heart break awaits? What can a woman do.

    All I can say is dream ur dream and hope for the best. Congrats on being an Uncle. I feel like being a mummy myself.

  20. Yes, it is. With a few pluses (which is great) and a few minuses ( that don’t necessarily feel like they are negatives)


  21. indeed ‘we dont get ’em exactly as we dream ’em’. but we can come close; or dream again, and be fair with what we are truly looking for.

    happy new year rethots!

  22. Congrats on the birth of your brother’s son o!

    So you have a picture of her? Hope it’s not a lofty novel like description cos then it does exist…

    you have a knack for confusing me! lol

  23. Best to know the basics you cant compromise with… all other things can be overlooked… but i also think our dreams also chase us around wanting to come to pass. Keep a praying heart and a wide eye… All the best

  24. Eh! Besides lets hear your basics once again… its always nice to hear it from a guys point of view…:)

  25. I’ll echo what most people said.
    Don’t compromise.
    But you won’t get your 100% so roll with 80 or 90 if you’ve come across it.

  26. UncleRethotz, you should rethink sometimes you know…some of us are not that smart…we try

    …anyway, people are not necessarily what you have crystallised…they are what/who they are…

  27. No.1-Im not your friend anymore!!!

    No.2-I think that the best way to go about this matter is to just lay it in the hands of God, ’cause he’s the ultimate matchmaker, and He’ll give you over and beyond what you are able to imagine.

    And dont mind the people saying it’s your turn. God makes all things beautiful in HIS own time.

    And, im still not your friend anymore, dont reply o, ’cause i wont talk to you!!!

  28. mercy
    and here i thought it was only women who got grief

    congratulations ooo

  29. I think you should never compromise on your fundamental beliefs/morals etc just to be with someone, coz sooner or later resentment will kick in and it unravels. But one needs to stop being fussy about things that dont really matter, relationships are give and take but i agree that you should dare to dream, anything is possible.

  30. Being an uncle is definitely great but I bet you being a father feels much better. Maybe you should try it out soon. You need to be with the right woman to decide that though. Congrats on the baby’s arrival. Hope you’ll be the best uncle you can. That’s the first step in preparing for fatherhood. Dare to dream bro.

  31. ConBABYtulations

    When u go born your own?

  32. Pls are we back to the “who is she” part?

  33. i could have sworn i left a comment here!

    there’s no magic formula for finding “the one”, and i do believe that there are core things that u can want in the person. i dont believe u should compromise on such things (except if its shallow stuff like she must be a good singer, fair skinned, long hair and all that jazz) or else u’ll wake up one day, be it in 20 years, and realize that u made a mistake!

  34. wow, i havent been here in a minute..

    aww rethots is an uncle..congrats!

    oh yea, dare to dream..dreams DO come a living testimony of that..

  35. Hello sir!, Happy new year and congrats on being an uncle.

    How’s work and all..
    Nice font, what’s it called?

  36. babys nice

  37. Uncle, welcome to the club if this is your first niece or nephew!

  38. Hey pumpkin! I am new to blogville so don’t laugh at me, but was your question some sort of tag or do you want to chat sweetie?

  39. rethots!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    loving your blog

  40. definetly,i’d be back.

  41. Congratulations on the new baby. first time here so it was the only fact i could deduce. Your blog is curious, very confusing. it’d ensure that i come back. By d way,you’ve been tagged.

  42. hmmmmmmmm. Rethots…update:you wont. hope you are good.

  43. You sure make wordpress look good!

  44. waiting for an update…..

  45. Hmmmm…..

  46. waiting for another post!


    everyone has an ideal partner in their head but you only ever get the “real” thing. Failure to reconcile both leads to an ordeal.

    Stole that from But gets the point across

  48. but what if the ideal person you’ve imagined does exist?……
    ur a thoughtful person

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