Posted by: rethots | July 16, 2008

Her story….

She met him in sometime ago. They were both members of the same group. It was her first time of being part of any group and she wanted to make up for lost ground. So for her it was an opportunity to meet people, exchange visits, bio data etcetera etcetera. Most members were very welcoming too. He was however, not like most. It was like he had a sign that read “Talk to me only when I talk to you”. So she only talked to him at his own pace. This notwithstanding, they still had occassions to talk.

“Do you have a camera I can borrow?” I need one for my trip to Abuja

“Thanks for your camera, here’s what I brought for you from Abuja

He even gave her a gift on her birthday. Most people don’t remember her birthday. Not on that day at least. Two days before, two weeks after or any day in March but then, he is not like most people. By the time she was leaving school, she thought we were friends. They exchanged e- mail addresses & phone numbers. She however did not hear from him until a couple years later.


They met online by chance and he started calling her. They spent an average of one hour every week on the phone courtesy of telecoms benefits. They talked about everything: School, Family, Politics, Career Plans, Religion, everything. Then he invited her to come to come see one of the projects he was working on. She agreed. While there, she asked a question that changed their erstwhile platonic relationship.

“What do you want from me?”

“I want us to be friends”, he replied.

Friends? She couldn’t believe her ears. What have we been all this while ntori olorun? So, she asked the question over and over again that same day, but the answer was the same!

Have you ever lifted a box that you thot was full of heavy stones only to find it was empty? That was how she felt. She felt like she was in a play and somebody had changed her co-actors’ scripts without informing her. She felt like she had asked for a hot bath on a cold harmattan morning but gotten a bucket of ice cold water instead.


How could she have been so self delusional? The most disconcerting part was that she couldn’t even blame him for the state she was in. Needless to say after that, she sat down and critically assessed the situation. So he’d called every weekend for months .It was telecoms benefits and he was just having fun! But their calls were usually long and they talked about everything. So? Did he ever say anything about liking her? Did he say anything she could even remotely misconstrue as romantic? No. Any Gifts? No. Any promises? No. On Val’s Day? No. On her birthday? No. The result was very clear: She was seeing things.


What to do next? Keep her cool, at least now boundaries had been set and clearly defined. It was a bitter pill to swallow but she did it. Imagine her consternation when the very next day after she had achieved this feat, he calls to say he wanted to be more than friends. For her, it was a little too late, so she just took off, to Ghana. She just wanted to go back to the way they were before the outing. When she got back from Ghana however it was impossible to keep to her resolution. What can she say? Attention begets affection.


His story



  1. Timing is everything with love, isn’t it?

    I only hope he hadn’t moved on by the time she returned from Ghana…oya spell it out!

  2. lol.. it would have been to soon for her to just say forget it..

    I am glad the affection is now mutual

  3. pray tell…what is this obsession of yours with time?

    ‘It is sadder to find the past again and find it inadequate to the present than it is to have it elude you and remain forever a harmonious conception of memory.’…that is HIS STORY!

  4. Hmmmn…o ga o…babe ur beginning to have a penchant for spinning stories that make me wanna cry o…

  5. I could actually picture the whole thing.
    That’s why I just love your blog!

    “Attention begets affection” very true indeed.

  6. nawa for this guy not feeling him at alll. why is he playing with her emotions…whats the guarantee that tomorrow he wont say oya lets go back to friendship. not feeling

    tell me is this guy u?

  7. i second aloted o, all des guys sef, werrin dem want??life wld be much more easier for we babes if guys only knew wat they want *fullstop*

    BTW hope u r going gr8

  8. good thing bobo sojied(woke up) on time…this is a classic example of how guys don’t know what they want even when it stares them in the face!
    either that…or…anyways don’t let me stereotype guys…there are still guys who know what they want and go for it…I guess ultimately every guy will go for what they want once they realise it!
    Problem is how to wake there brain up!lol

  9. thought the story sounded familiar, so how did it end from her side?

  10. lovely story.

    she should have known even after he said he wante dthem to be friends, that there must be a hidden agenda. The long calls are proofs. come see the project he is doing is proof. he probably couldn’t be very forthcoming cos he was shy perhaps.

  11. ah ! am so very happy now, was holding my breath went i read to the point..wat do u want from me?
    not a very good question to ask, but am glad they made it,


  12. She is good!!! I like decisions like this. I hope she will be fine. U told this story captivatingly!!!

  13. Attention begats Affection

    is it possible to have one without the other and is it possible that Affection begats Attention

    i love it tho

    please tell mii that there is more to the story

  14. attention begets affection………………..


  15. that is one hell of a confused dude, and basically most guys are like that jare (forgive my generalization but it is founded). If i were the girl ehn, no show o…lol

    thanx for ur contribution at mine.

  16. obviously a guy telling the tale! its got the male-slant to it…

  17. ‘It is sadder to find the past again and find it inadequate to the present than it is to have it elude you and remain forever a harmonious conception of memory.’

    However when ‘the leaves of memory seemed to make a mournful rustling in the dark’ he realised that ‘…there is no shame in being wrong, only in failing to correct our mistakes’.

    As a result he chose to ‘…come out of the circle of time, and into the circle of love’, hoping that ‘good things happen when you pay attention.

    Maybe…just maybe…that is HIS story

  18. i dunno. in my experience when a girl has asked “what do you want?” either to me or someone else, the worst answer to give has always been “nutin” or “i dont like u like that” it seems like it is always a set up for the girl to hammer u into oblivion with you are a nice person but i am not feeling u like that. it has happened and u cant deny it.

    i think though trick and where this guyu missed it is you have to watch events leading up to that pont. if she had ben playing head/mind games, then she maybe deserved the answer.

    but in this case i think she was honest from the get go. but who is to say, who is to judge

  19. great story

    people are so fickle

    we need to learn how to truly express ourselves more

    i think this story shows what happens when we dont express the way we really feel

  20. attention begets affection.

    Hhmmmm. Great story, and I am definitely pondering that line…


  21. “Attention begets affection.”

    Love the spin.

  22. …i love the way you told this story!!!!…you and your play with time…you def make me think about time in such different ways…attention begets affection;)…this piece speaks to me…dunno why…for some reason it also made me think of film which explore/reveal the importance of perspective and lying to oneself-‘amelie’ (french film) and ‘facing windows’ (italian film) come to mind…well done…

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