Posted by: rethots | May 28, 2008

…at different times.

…they loved each other but at different times, and never got to love each other in time.



By chance they met while they were in school, by sheer chance they met again about 4years after they had left school. An acquaintance formed back then in school eventually developed to friendship. Consistent communication seemed to have been the hallmark of their friendship, this eventually must have led to some form of attraction till…… the question “What do you want from me?” was asked. We are friends, ain’t we? A response was not found wanting. A deep reflection and eventually, a relationship they began. She loved him then….



On and on the relationship seemingly matured, their faults and short-comings they tolerated. They put in their ‘best’…… But, somewhere along the line, he knew he didn’t treat her fairly. How much he tried, ‘tis not known but, one thing he was certain; he didn’t want her to later feel he wasted her time. So, he did what he thot was ‘noble’; that they should give the relationship a break. Only now with hindsight, he realizes; ‘one learns to love and consciously builds on it’.



They still kept in touch; after all, something friendship existed between them before the relationship was birthed. She asked him if she could move on. Yes, he ‘nobly’ replied. By chance oops, chance seems to have played a major role in all these they were physically separated. In the distance, what happened? He finally appreciated her essence, now he fell in love. Only, ‘twas too late……she had moved on, she informed him.



Beyond the call of duty, he went hoping to rekindle what once resided deep in her heart but, an effort in futility it was. Did he not understand that she loved him not for what he consciously did but, for his unconscious person? He didn’t believe she had moved on. But then, the more he tried consciously the further away he pushed her…..till it almost became like harassment. ‘Twas a most difficult period but, his friends helped him to cushion the effect. He learnt to move on when he realized that she budged not about her stance on having moved on also, that she felt nothing again; however, she assured him he was a great guy and she’d love them to still be friends. He loved her now…..



A timeless lesson he learnt though…….

Her story

His story





  1. The story of my life…

  2. I was recently wondering at the role that timing plays in relationships. This is a great illustration of that.

  3. Knowing he has treated her unfairly and thinking he his doing the ‘noble’ thing by breaking off the relationship…plus ‘he did not want her to feel later that he had wasted her time’…hmmm…did they talk about this earnestly?

    One should never allow another to believe in an untruth…it simply comprises your integrity and burdens the soul!

    You never know what you’ve got till it’s gone. So if you have a chance for love…take it. If you are in love…say it.

    One cannot take responsibility for how well another person chooses to accept your truth; however, you can control how well (i.e. how lovingly, how courageously and how completely) it is communicated.

    People move on…it is shame but it is life…@ least they are still friends… maybe if he had trusted his truth in the 1st place they might have moved on together.

    Not necessarily a ‘timing’ issue although I agree that it is a ‘timeless’ issue…

  4. There are a couple people that really need to read this.

    Thanks so much for participating in Nigerian Proclamation Day at

    God bless you and yours, always!

  5. i can’t resist saying, ‘i so feel u on this!’. Timing is everything. It gives mathematical proof to the cliche that sometimes, love just isn’t enough. Ouch…

  6. Wow…

    dunno who i feel sorry for…

    the lady who loved too early , or the dude who realised too late …

  7. good one…….i wish the guy realised early, it would have bin a wonderful rltnship…i mean it would have bin a case of 2 people who truly love each other…..but then…its good they realised that they gat to move on without eachother….sad though!

  8. this is too close to home for me…………..

  9. Who is the guy in this story rethots? Better confess. Speak the truth and we shall help you find a solution!!! (lmao). Good piece

  10. Nice
    I hope that wasnt you?

    We learn to love, but sometime we learn to love too late…

  11. Sounds like the TV series Greeks.

    A lot of times we do not appreciate what we have until we loose it.

  12. awww..this is soooo sad…well written tho 🙂

  13. hmmmmm

    how is it that this man never knew wat he had until he set it free?

  14. I dont know about anywhere else, but in this part of the world i live in, people divorce on the account of “falling out of love.” Just like that, love ends. I dont know how possible that is, but its different here.
    CAn you stop loving someone you loved once? I dont know, but I get funny stares when I have admitted I still liked/loved someone from a time long gone. I think what is frounwed on is the continuous longing for that person who seems to not care or show any respect towards u. and sometimes u learn something about them that makes u question ur decision to love. this is open to retraction

    i see u read laspapi’s post. the two must like/love each other at the same time. Love cannot always wait. Even bob marley in his song, wait in vain (i think thats the title) knows at some point he got to move on.

  15. Lovely story, sounds true if it was not the gal would not have moved on! Thanks for all your comments on my blog, thank you for reading my posts. All da best.

  16. first time i’ve been able to log on to your page!!!
    i love this post…it reminds me of a period of pleasure/pain in my past…i tried to express it in ‘i remember’ but i’m not much of a poet…and it’s sucha long long story…will share it someday soon.
    thank you for your comments.

  17. Hmmm…this whole love thing sha. Sucks sha but hey, stuvvs happens.

  18. I can relate to this post on soooo many levels…
    Its funny how love turns out to be a game of hide and seek so much in our adult lives…
    This was really well written!

  19. …interesting points blackman raises…i think i agree with what he said…

    …very beautiful…like the way you wrote it…so true so often…you men;)…

  20. nicely written!
    cud it be that it wasn’t meant to be?

  21. Wey you dey?

  22. Interesting!!!

  23. I guess it wasnt meant to be…

  24. As the song goes, ‘it’s not who you love; it’s who loves you’

    Sad but true.

  25. True…stuff like this happen…but at the end of the day they prolly don’t belong together…

    Because you love someone doesn’t necessary mean you are meant to be together…I have learnt this key lesson in my few years on earth,

  26. update oh…

    and thanks for stopping by miine

  27. they loved each other but at different times, and never got to love each other in time…..

    I love that quote!!!

    i’m going to use it somewhere!

    inspiration…. u know ur blog thingy forces people to put down their email addresses..that my anonymity out the window!

  28. The words are beautiful. I was reminded of ‘On Chesil Beach’ by Ian McEwan.

  29. dis is d sad story of most pple’s love life. he was ready, she wasn’t – den when she was, he’d moved on. or she was ready, he wasn’t – wen he became ready, she was just getting married. well, i suppose d easier thing 2 say is dat they were not meant 2 be. maybe so, maybe not. but it’s happened, it’s happened. s/he has got 2 move on. am very good @ moving on. d truth is dat no-one is indispensable!

  30. u write n an abstract sort of way!

  31. like a poet

  32. Suddenly I stumbled at a brilliant blogger. You write well.


  33. its quite difficult to explain to women the ‘nobility’ of letting go cos of not loving them to the capacity to which one would love to…but then your eyes only open after its over…

    Had a similar experience…tried to console myself with ‘if you love something..let it go, if it comes back then its yours..’ lie! it flew away forever!

    You never know what you had till its gone….


  34. sounds very familiar…but alot more ‘noble’

    might i add, pages like this make me hate mine, this is a very beautiful blog, Blogger hasnt got nice templates at all

  35. I tagged u Rethots!!! Visit mi-blog for details

  36. wow, this was beautifully written & deep.

  37. I feel u!

    darn…I hate it when this happens…

  38. Hmmmn rethots! now I know this is you! either that…or someone very close to you!…if there’s anything I know for sure! this is not fiction!
    Pele just move on ehn! better still pray!…very touching story!

  39. Thanks for visiting my page! This is a very realistic story and I believe my ex is going to feel about the same way in a bit. Said he needed some time to get things together and things will work out with us after that cause we are ‘different’. Which sounded like bs to me. All I know is he is going to need the power of God to get me back….lol.

    Nice post.

  40. time and chance always happen to all

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