Posted by: rethots | December 10, 2007

Re: Like or Love

…from a once existent blog, comments (uneditted) on a post titled Like or Love. An attempt at recreating the post.

Hmmm...Like or Love
Like being superior to Love ... interesting, 
I see where you are going with this...
Love (God kind) is an instruction, not emotional 
or determined by shifts or swaying of external 
stimuli. ... We Love our family and like our 
friends hmm... (still thinking about this one)
I still believe Like is the first seed to Love....
you cannot possibly Love without first Like...
Love in my opinion is deeper and more committal 
than like. Like simply means to admire, its by 
choice and it requires no mutuality or 
It is funny, how the subject of discussion 
generates different views. In my own opinion 
I will totally agree with the view that when 
you like someone and you can’t tell why, 
you love that person. But if you think you 
are in love and you can pinpoint what you love 
about that person, you actually just like the 
person. Love is sacrificial, it doesn’t want 
anything in return, whether it hurt or not, 
it would do its part. Love is a state of 
meekness in a man’s realms and a state of 
strength in a woman’s strife.
My view on this 'Love-Like' issue 
is conflicting. Like is a component of 
Love depending on what kind of relationship it is. 
In a boy-girl relationship or courtship, 
it is not quite possible to love the other 
without first liking the personality. 
You possibly can’t be in love with an obviously 
repulsive personality. Something you like must 
have attracted you to that person.
However, in some other kind of relationships, 
there can be love without necessarily liking. 
For example - families, Love is imposed on us.
Face it, you might not like either of your 
parents attitude and character but you simply 
love them because they are your parents and 
they have played their roles as parents to you. 
You know why? Because we can't choose who our 
parents and siblings are. So there is no room 
to observe and make a choice. So there can be 
love without necessarily liking.
I don't think Like is superior to Love. 
Like alone cannot stand the test of time. 
Maybe, if you know and relate with the object 
of your likeness only from a distance; 
that means you seldom see each other and when 
you see, you spent very little time together.
Like is easy and fun because it can't stand 
imperfections. Imagine if you knew at first 
hand all your partner's imperfections, perhaps 
you wouldn’t go ahead with him/her. 
Nice blog. Thanks for asking what I think on this.
I read everyone’s comments and I must say this 
is quite and interesting topic...
I guess it’s a topic that we can never really 
conclude on. It’s like looking at an image from 
different sides.
Hmmm. Love, Like... I used to say love is a 
decision, but like? I guess our musings should 
be what on earth is this thing called "Like"?
T, good job u are doing here. Keep it up!!


  1. “Love is sacrificial, it doesn’t want anything in return, whether it hurt or not, it would do its part. Love is a state of meekness in a man’s realms and a state of
    strength in a woman’s strife. ”

    I love that, so true…Love develops from Liking..

  2. Reading this post and your opinion that “like” is imposed on us when it has to do with family brings to mind an arguement i had with a friend about religion…we are only a certain religion cos we are bon in it.not cos we necessaily believe.

    You have to like anyone before it becomes starts from liking them to the point of wanting to protect them,once you want to protect someone you know you have reached the point of love…

    I will definately be back to copy this comment of mine as a post on its

    Got me thinking deep!!!

    @ afrobabe,
    This like or love post; actually, wrote an original post on that subject but, have since deleted the blog (as such, the post it). But, still had all the comments on that post and going through, tried remembering what the original post was but, haven’t been able. So, in trying to recreate the post, posted all the comments dropped on the original post with a hope to eventually write a new article on it (not, without my faithful comment’ers’ opinions sha).

  3. Well said all..for me love is more than an emotion, it’s majorly a decision. I would say love is what makes a man and woman overlook each other’s faults in a marriage relationship. Like i think is tied more to reasons, something attracts and makes one say i like this’s the reason (i think) you’d choose to have a deeper relationship with someone and ignore the other..

    Hope that makes some

  4. hmmm…….it really does make u think…and as a result what i write now is not so much of a statement as it is just thinking out loud……[and long]

    my first thought is piggy backing of f afrobabe’s… agreement and disagreement……..

    …i like the idea that “once you want to protect someone you know you have reached the point of love…”…never really thought about it that way but it seems to fit perfectly into the scheme of things……..

    and it brings me to my point – in disagreement……i don’t think u have to like someone to love them…..especially going by the ‘protection’ criteria…….we protect all sorts of people in all sorts of ways…….even by reflex…[Grabbing a stray kid trying to run across a busy road]……

    we protect [love?] people we don’t know……even people we don’t like….[assuming that not liking someone is not the same as hating them!!!]……

    admittedly though there are always levels……some people tend to be more protected than others……

    is this where like comes in?……


  5. hmmmm……

    i am still thinking about the issue….

    still around the ‘protection’ criterion [which by the way i think someone should win a prize for……it makes that abstract ‘love’ more tangible]….

    so we protect/love alot of people but we protect/love some people more than others……i was going to say that this is where like comes in and end it at that….but i have gone and complicated it a bit more….

    i agree that you like people because of reasons as writefreak mentioned earlier – she has nice lips, hips and finger tips – and as a result of this u might protect/love them more as suggested by afrobabe…..

    the more i thought about it though the more i realised that most of the protection/love i have witnessed, in reality as well as fiction, is not accounted for by likeness [maybe likeness is like 25% over the 10% of ‘gbogbo ero’ -general populace – love]…..

    the bulk of most love/protection is attributed i think………to HISTORY…….

  6. …history….

    [it is all making sense to me now…hmmm…]

    i suspect that mere time has an effect on love/protection far greater than likeness…..

    my first suspicion of this was the syndrome that someone who has been kidnapped gets….i can’t remember the name exactly but apparently it was found out that people who had been kidnapped usually developed an attachment to their kidnappers…..SICK abi??…i know, but some hints there……..

    then there is the family issue……i know most of us like our families [?????]…..but the truth is that the reason we love/protect them is because we have been around them so long……Desola’s dad is much better looking, makes more money, is smarter, even kinder…but u still love/protect ur dad more……

    and now to the ultimate issue….why you love him/her…….yes there is the like issue, perhaps…..but in the end i still put it to history……which is probably why first loves are so strong….there is nothing but history there….firsts for everything…..
    same effect if you drop two people on an island alone to fend for them selves for three months……they will develop a love/protection for each other that would otherwise not have been….history…..[i.e. tom hanks and mr. wilson in cast away…who would have guessed…history]

    in conclusion [of sorts] i think there is something about going through thick and thin with someone [or something] that endears them to you… can’t always be attributed to like…

    why do you love her?…i don’t know…..history…..

  7. but what about before that….when there is no history….what about the case of true love….love at first sight [or meeting or date or discussion or whatever…]…….what about love then?????

    don’t get me wrong i am a big fan of ‘true love’ [whatever that means]…….but the same concept can still be applied i think……

    “it feels like we’ve known each other forever” she says to her new love…….alas HISTORY….maybe not just in this world!!!!!!

  8. @ a.k.a.ephraim
    interesting thesis…..
    will take some time to digest..

    @ writefreak
    about love being a choice…i get where u are coming from…but let me spin it another way and say that i agree that there are choices to be made in love…but the choice is as much who not to love as it is who to love……it will surprise u how easy it is to just stumble [fall??] into it otherwise.

  9. this love thing! i do not like anything that ‘controls’ me, like alcohol! love has a way of making u weak…so weak u do silly things. ‘Like’ i like! u decide who u like, there are certain things the person does, says or has that makes u ‘like’. but this ‘love’ that drains u of reasoning, what is it? is it love?

  10. here’s wishing u a merry xmas and a fufilled new year,hope u enjoy ur holidays merry xmas

  11. waow

    This is pretty nice.
    I actually hated my first bf for some indescribable reason… I later loved him b4 i even liked him. We could love without actually liking. ALl that matters in the end is being sincere about how we really feel.

    MErry Xmas
    Have a joyous one

  12. Like vs love, hmm. I suppose i love my parents & my siblings, but i’ve few thots that have d words family & love in d same sentence. i suspect i love my friends too, but i prefer to use ‘like’ with them. It’s only with boyfriends i use ‘love’, but then it was only with 2 of those. I guess am not heavy of either words.

  13. No, we don’t need to like people we love. More often than not, when we are constantly in communion (or close proximity) with another, an affection develops (not necessary by will). An affection termed love, we don’t need to like the other. We like another cos of mutual symphony, this like is what makes us to consciously choose to have a relationship with the other. At the dawn of the relationship, love is birthed. A love that is dynamic and grows relative to how it is nutured. Why do i think like is superior to love?

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